Advice for First Time Mamas

I just met a wonderful gal at a fellowship dinner. She's just moved to the area and isn't going to get a "replacement" job, and she's pregnant. We had such a fabulous time talking, finding stuff in common, and just enjoying each other's company. As we chatted, I started thinking about all the things I should have done during my first pregnancy-the "if I'd only known" syndrome, I suppose. So here're the Domestic Goddess' advice at the low, low rate of free. :)

1. Chill out! Not in the "chill pill" way, that is. Just relax. Take a deep breath and enjoy it. If you work, then take advantage of any time you have with your spouse. Take this time to truly get to know him and enjoy your alone time. Trust me, childcare for date nights can be tough (and expensive) to finagle! If you're an at-home spouse, then don't worry so much about the state of the house or daily "stuff". Take some time to devour your reading list, do your nails, and soak in the tub.

2. Don't buy anything unless you absolutely have to, and even then, try to get it second-hand. Gosh, I would have saved sooooo much this way. All those fabulous gift cards could have been used to buy formula after I discovered I couldn't breast-feed. The toys our baby "just had to have" were great, but babies change so much and so quickly that the only way we'd get our worth is to have about six kids and then pass them on to a friend who would have to have six kids of her own. Impractical.

Example: A play mat I paid full retail of $40 would have cost $7 at a kid's consignment sale or shop. Find friends who are done with their baby-producing stage and ask if you can take the stuff off their hands. Trust me, it was so nice to find out my college roommate was expecting right around the time we were packing. She took all that good stuff off my hands for free! Great deal on both sides. Of course, check for recalls on anything before buying it.

What You Really Need:

Car seat (buy a new one that will last until your baby is at least 40 pounds),

Crib,

Jogging stroller with a swivel front wheel and tires you can inflate at the gas station (but don't jog with baby until 6 months),

BPA-free bottles if using formula or pumping, lots of onesies (at least 10 will last a week),

A couple of weather appropriate pieces (Cold weather: jeans/pants, jacket, hat, leggings, socks. Hot weather: shorts/skirt, hat, swim diaper, socks.),

Sturdy diaper bag,

Diapers (about 20-25 if you're using cloth),

Free and Clear detergent.

3. Eat right. I gained 85 pounds with Thing #1, and I'm still struggling with the last ten. She is four years old! I was totally depending on breast-feeding to help me lose weight. Naughty me. I should have known better than to depend on something unpredictable. Sure, you can give into a craving here or there, but moderation is KEY. It helped me with Thing #2 and Thing #3 to think of cravings as a budget. I could splurge occasionally instead of making it a lifestyle like I did with Thing #1.

4. Exercise! Gosh, it made a world of difference in my post-partum attitude. I had knee surgery nine months after Thing #1 was born. Thing #2 arrived nine months after that, so I didn't really have a great opportunity to get back into a good work out program. I truly believe that's why I had such a bad case of the baby blues after Thing #2 arrived. Even if exercise doesn't prevent post-partum depression, it will help keep you and the baby healthy (besides working off those occasional craving splurges!).

5. Cloth diapers. I discovered these with Thing #2, and even though I only used them from her 8-12 month stage, they sure did help with potty training. Thing #2 potty trained herself the week before her second birthday. The cost? Five training panties, three of which doubled as evening soakers. Pricey, yes, but I'm reusing them on Thing #3. Thing #1 didn't really get proficient with the toilet until she was nearly three (switch from diapers to disposable training pants around 2 y/o) and then didn't figure out night training until she was 3.5. In fact, Thing #2 was done night training about a month after Thing #1.

Potty training for Thing #1 cost waaaay more than it did for Thing #2 and even more than Thing #3 even though we've subsequently bought three more training pants. Thing #3 is only 14 months old and has a very solid interest in the potty. I strongly believe it's the cloth diaper because she can feel the wetness.

Resources: Diaper Swapper (if you're okay with second-hand diapers). Kelly's Closet (for new diapers).

6. Read Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp. I read that after the arrival of Thing #3 and vehemently wished I'd discovered it during my pregnancy. It's a Christian-based philosophy on child raising and disciplining. I loved it. I started implementing several of Tripp's ideas, and within weeks, I could see the change in my kids' perspectives on how they viewed their actions.

7. (Not so much for pregnant contemplation...more for when you've already got your babycakes in hand.) Get reusable stuff or find ways to reuse stuff you buy.

Buy Reusable Stuff: Each of the kids has a Nalgene Grip 'n Gulp cup in their assigned color. Not only are these things super durable, Nalgene will send a replacement if anything goes wrong with the cup. We also like reusable snack bags from Planet Wise. Baggies have been reduced to puzzle storage. I feel so much less wasteful now whenever we pack snacks or picnics.

Reuse Stuff You've Got:This is my favorite mommy aha! If you're going to buy jarred baby food, keep the glass jars so you can store snacks in there later. You can keep baby cereal in there for on-the-go and then just add water when you're ready to use it. My 14 month old loves to eat her Cheerios and goldfish out of there. They are just the right size for a little one. The jars are surprisingly durable, and the lids screw on, so you don't have to worry about an unmixed cereal mess in your diaper bag or snack pack.

So there you have it. If this list is useful to at least one person, then I'm happy.

Challenge: To spend less than $100 on baby prep items (not including the car seat-I am a firm believer in buying those new).

-Domestic Goddess out.

Hairography

I just discovered Glee. I know, I know. I'm two years late. It's okay. I watch about four movies in theater per year and don't have cable, so yes, I watch everything two years after the fact. Netflix has Glee available right now, and after hearing my cousins rave about it, I decided to give it a whirl. Naturally, I love it. I think the story line is a little beyond believable, but hey, it's TV. I love the singing, though. Those guys are really talented! Anyhow, early in Season 1, there's an episode called Hairography. In it, the Glee folks watch a group of girls from an opposing team. There's a lot of hair tossing and booty shaking as they dance to Beyonce's Bootylicious. The director feels threatened by them and introduces a hair tossing routine into their repertoire. Rachel, a Glee member, insists that it's a mistake for the team. She defines hairography as "all the whizzing of their hair around just to distract from the fact that they're not really good dancers and their vocals are just so-so." The director ignores the advice and goes on to have his team perform Crazy in Love, also by Beyonce.

Personally, I find this hilarious. It seems the writers for Glee find Beyonce to be all hair and no real talent. Sure, Beyonce has a great voice and some really good songs, but sheesh! All the fuss about her is ridiculous. I've seen lots of prettier girls just walking around the mall, and I've heard lots of equally talented girls at church and at my former schools. Whatever the case, hairology seems to make a lot of good money, so if any of you have lovely tresses, go ahead and learn how to whip it.

That being said, how much of what we see and buy into is real and what is hairology? What do we believe is true talent, quality, or necessity? What is actually smoke and mirrors? We have to remember who creates the drive within to be like someone or purchase a product. It's marketers who want us to buy into these beliefs. I urge you to please look past the smoke and mirrors and make intelligent, informed decisions about who you want to emulate, what you want to buy, and how you want to live your life.

Challenge: Analyze your weekly purchases and choices. Determine who or what you're buying into before you make any decisions.

-Domestic Goddess out.

A Sense of Accomplishment

Wow, June has come and gone! I kept meaning to write a second blog for the month, but I kept distracting myself. With what?

Well, we moved into our new house on May 24. Our housewarming party was June 11, so that gave me three weeks to get everything unpacked and arranged. Plus, I had to get rid of all our used boxes. Thankfully, we were able to find them a new home.

Then we had a big trip at the end of the month...in which the three littles and I went to NC without Mr. DG. Naturally, we ALL got sick on the trip. Thankfully, I didn't have "plain" cloth dipes. G Diapers and their disposable liners saved my sanity!!! :)

So that leaves about two weeks unaccounted for. I'm sure I was doing something, but who knows what that was??? I know I definitely read and watched Pride and Prejudice. I also watched Jane Eyre. I'm on one of my romantic kicks again, I suppose. I'm currently in the midst of Mansfield Park.

At any rate, June was a fun month. We had several trips to the pool, some walks around the neighborhood, and a LOT of park time. The heat let up for a while, and we really enjoyed the cool(ish) weather.

I'm excited for July and even more so for August. My parents come visit us at the end of the summer!

Challenge: Find lots of fun free stuff to do in your area.

-Domestic Goddess out.

Renaissance Faire Fun

Many thanks to the fabulous Kristina of PWC Moms for sending our family to the Virginia Renaissance Faire! It was a lovely day in the Lake Anna region of Virginia, so we ended up staying from 10:30-2:00 (the event runs from 10:00-5:00 each day). Each weekend the faire is open has a theme, and this weekend featured Celtic Heritage. I'm not sure what exactly was more Celtic yesterday than any other day, but we saw a lot of kilts.

The fair grounds are rather large and could have easily accommodated crowds larger than the ones we visited with. A word to the wise though: take a jogging or all-terrain stroller. The "paths" are gravelly, and the grass is uneven. Pushing our umbrella stroller around was difficult once we were having to push a larger kid while juggling the little one.

The first "thing" that happened was that our older kids (4 and 2) decided they were going to be terrified of all the Renaissance actors. It took them about an hour and/or the queen's arrival to make them enjoy interacting with the characters. My 2 y/o never really loosened up enough to talk with anyone though she did inspect their clothes closely. The actors all remained solidly in character, and by the time we left, I'd begun returning their "Good morrows" and mentally referring to the crowd as gentles instead of people.

My husband and our friends were then recruited to march in the Queen's parade. They got some basic training on how to carry their "lances" and how to march. It was pretty cool. While they did that, the kids and I listened to a bard spin tales, watched the cooks create meals in an outdoor stone oven, and enjoyed the minstrels create improvisational songs.

We watched a few skits held in the Queen's honor, and I was happily impressed that all the topics were pretty clean. No flaming lewdness or cursing. The worst subject was that of pirate drunkenness, and even then, it was poking fun at pirates, not praising them. Other acts we watched included another improv singer, a magician, and the Fool. The Fool was my favorite. He did lots of fantastic acrobatic tricks while juggling. The best one was balancing on a board on top of a rolling barrel while tossing knives around. My kids liked him hula hooping with a flaming hoop best. There was a complimentary wine tasting of the Lake Anna Winery's samples for adults. Yum! Among the things we missed were an equestrian/jousting show, an archery exhibition, and a knighting (or ordaining as a lady) of the children.

Things we enjoyed seeing but not participating in were the petting zoo (baby alpacas, goats, and sheep), watching a weaving demonstration, watching gentles try to throw axes, watching gentles try archery, and playing in the kids area. There were also tons of vendors. It was very easy to get tempted to want a fun costume item, but so many of the costume pieces for sale were uber-expensive, so the temptation passed quickly. Other vendors had jewelry, chain mail pieces, weaponry, old-fashioned wooden toys, soaps, tobacco, and alpaca wool skeins.

And finally...the food! I've only been to one other (smaller) Renaissance Faire, and the food was pretty much the same. I saw frozen chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick (drool), funnel cakes, Scottish eggs, turkey legs, ginormous sausages on a stick, and sweet potato fries as well as standard American fare of hot dogs, burgers, and Frito pies (num!). We enjoyed a turkey leg and two hot dogs for $13. While it was not nearly enough for a family of five, I had packed a very hefty lunch bag with snacks, juices, and extra waters. My husband and I finished off our 1L bottle, the kids finished their 0.5L bottles, and the baby polished her 8 oz. cup of water pretty quickly, and the weather was in the mid 80s. Drinks, of course, are where you really pay a premium. Bottled 16 oz. waters ranged from $1.00-$1.50, 12 oz. sodas were about $2.50, and lemonades were $5.00 for a largish plastic cup ($2.00 for refills).


We went to the car to snack, but I don't think there would have been a problem if we had brought the food in. When we walked back into the Faire, the kids had their apples in hand, and nobody remarked on them.

Overall, the Renaissance Faire was a great event, and I am so glad our family had the opportunity to attend. Next year, we'll take advantage of the Military History weekend over Memorial Day and get in gratis.

Pros:
-Great chances for the kids senses to be stimulated (touching the weapons and looms, listening to the music, watching the shows, tasting the food, and smelling the animals) to learn about history.
-Lots of space-we weren't constantly running over feet with our stroller or losing our kids in the crowd.
-Plenty of shady spots to take a break or change a diaper in.
-The ability to go and come back in (hand stamp return method).
-Plenty of FREE parking spaces!
-FREE wine tasting!

Cons:
-The actors were a little scary to the kids at first.
-Some gentles visiting the Faire felt the need to dress like serving wenches and show more skin than I wanted to see...and I am by no means a big conservative when it comes to dressing.
-If you get there after 11:30, you're probably going to be hiking to and from your car.

Caution:
-It's easy to get dehydrated and over-exposed in the sun despite the lovely temperature and slight cloud cover. I was thankful I had a stash of hats in the car and sunscreen in the diaper bag. Bring lots of water and sun protection.
-Bring an all-terrain stroller so you have an easy time of pushing your tots around.
-Be aware that some female costumes will be overly revealing.

Recommendation: A great family outing. Definitely do your best to get out and support this event!

New Home, New Outlook

In my two years of me being out of the military, our family has lived in two houses. This past week and a half found us moving into our third one. For some reason, I decided today was the perfect day to give it its first scrub down.

Typically, cleaning days are grumpy days for me. I don't like cleaning. At all. My mother has this superpower that inspires dust to literally run away from her. I'm more like Pig-Pen in that I attract the stuff. Bleh. So I was rather surprised when I found myself enjoying cleaning this house. I mean, I'm the mother who never went through the nesting phase during pregnancy, so it was truly shocking. At any rate, it was nice.

That being said, I must give a shout out to Sally Hansen right now. I'm wearing the Salon Effects nail polish strips in "Fly With Me" and I haven't chipped my "manicure" at all despite scrubbing, scratching up gunky stuff from the floor, washing the dishes, or doing any other cleaning thing. I was very pleased, especially since the manicure in a box only cost about $7 (with coupon!). My salon manicure of $25 got ruined just three days into our move. Grrr.

Back to the house thing. I really love this house. This is a "true" house with a (small) fenced in backyard, detached garage, and (gasp!) utility room. Even though there's a little too much space in here, I like having all the openness. The kids are living it up. After two townhouses in which you could reach the long end of the house in twelve four-year-old strides, this is a real treat for them. :)

I'm very happy to report there are no more boxes left to open downstairs. All the bedrooms are done except for the bunk bed. The guest room is really the only room to go, and it's going to be a bear. That's where all of my husband's gear, our photo albums, and miscellaneous office stuff we don't want downstairs will be stored. I hope there's enough room for the futon!

So, I'd like to thank my fellow taxpayers for supporting the military so well. I know this house is not mine; it is the American people's. I will endeavor to take very good care of it to prevent taxpayer money from being wasted on frivolity. I will enjoy it to the maximum of my abilities because I know it's a blessing to have a home provided. Thanks, everyone!

Challenge: Pretend someone else is paying for the house you're currently living in. Would you take better care of it or have the "don't be gentle, it's a rental" mentality? Why?

-Domestic Goddess out.

Learning to Coupon

I love saving money when I shop. I've been toying the idea of "super couponing" for years. When Kingdom First Mom's Alyssa advertised a 50% off special for Grocery University's couponing tutorial, I went ahead and bought it. Around the same time, I become really good friends with PWC Moms' Kristina, who offered a few choice tips of her own. She also steered me over to Southern Savers, which makes fancy couponing VERY simple! For about the past month, I've been using better grocery shopping tactics, and I am really enjoying it.

First, I must confess: I have no idea how much we've saved. I'll continue to have no idea until we've moved (was supposed to happen 5/2, but there was a major failure to communicate, to say the least, and so the date is now at the end of this month). Since I was expecting to move on 5/2, I had everything except the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and closet necessities packed. That mean all my receipts for Quicken are in a box...somewhere. However, I do know that I've gotten more bang for my buck. In April, we spent just a little less than our normal budget, but we got more for it. How do I know? Well, I stocked up on enough groceries to last us until last Monday, 5/9, so I didn't make my first real grocery trip of the month until Tues., 5/10.

There have been some challenges to learning to coupon. First is meal planning. I like sitting down with my cookbooks and spending about an hour deciding what we're going to eat for a week. I had to change that. Instead, I go through the circulars of the stores I like (read: those that double $0.99 and below coupons on a daily basis) and try to think of ways to throw their sales together. I'm sure I could speed the process up if I used one of those nifty online things that lets me punch in three items and spits out fifteen different recipes, but I haven't yet. Why? Because I just thought of it! :)

Next is strategy. I used to clip coupons only on things that our family needs. Now, I clip anything I think we'll need or that I think I can get for dirt cheap (read: $0.10 or less). Southern Savers has been really useful because of the way deals are laid out. The item is listed with its current price, all coupons you can use (with links to them, if applicable), a recommendation on which coupon will get you the most savings, and the final price after coupon. Here's a sample of what I'm talking about here. It's wonderful! No need to whip out the calculator (packed) or use a lot of time thumbing through your coupons. The background work is done for you. Lovely!!!

Acquiring coupons is an obvious step I haven't discussed yet. There are three ways I get coupons: printing, newspaper clipping, and in-store.
I used to print coupons, but that drives me crazy because the printer is attached to my husband's computer, and my computer is ornery and won't accept a networked printer. Ugh! Printing coupons for the Web is great but not my primary coupon source.
I get a majority of mine from the Washington Post. I got a fabulous Living Social deal for the Post a few months ago, and the Post allowed me to renew the subscription at the same low price, so I'm still getting a Sunday paper for $0.42. Since I typically save at least $15.00 per shopping trip, I figure the subscription is worth it. Plus, the paper is totally reusable: we occasionally read it, the kids paint on it, we started our seedlings in cups made out of paper, etc.
In-store coupons are great. There are two kinds: blinkies and Catalinas.
Blinkies, dubbed by my eldest, are those coupon dispensers with the blinking lights. I like to grab a few (strictly one per person shopping with me so I don't get too greedy), stuff them in my coupon book, and keep going. Easy!
Catalinas are the coupons the clerk hands you along with your receipt. They're typically high dollar coupons, which is great, but the products are usually higher end (read: more expensive). I save those on really good sales, especially on brands like Seventh Generation. Those coupons turn expensive brand prices into store brand prices. Nice!

Learning your store is another really important step. Some stores simply do you the favor of accepting coupons (e.g., HEB in Texas). Great. Others double your coupons up to a certain amount. Typically, this is $0.50 (Loew's, if I remember correctly), but I have two fantastic stores (Harris Teeter and Wegman's) in the area that go up to $0.99. FREE TIP: Harris Teeter is having TRIPLE coupons starting Wednesday. Yes! Another thing some stores allow is using multiple coupons. The only one I know of in the area that does this is Target, which accepts a manufacturers coupon and a Target coupon for the same item. Some stores have limits on how many coupons you can use. There are lots of "things" to figure out about couponing , so check online or call your store's customer service line if you have a coupon question.

Finally, stashing your coupons. There is no wrong way to do this. Research a few methods, try them out, and find something that works for you. Trust me, you'll want to figure out some form of organization, or you'll defeat yourself before you start. Having everything at hand is great. Carrie Isaac of Grocery University offers a good idea in her video. My friend Kristina organizes her coupon binder by shopping aisle at her favorite store. Another friend puts her coupons in a plastic organizer accordion while another uses a large envelope. I use the binder with baseball card protectors method. When I'm ready to shop, I pull out the coupons I'm going to use and stick them in an envelope with my shopping list.

Call me nerdy, but I get a thrill out of seeing my Harris Teeter receipts. It's nice to see all those minuses at the bottom and getting 46% savings just by using naptime as strategy time.

Challenge: Experiment with couponing for a month. See how it affects your grocery budget.

-Domestic Goddess out.

"I Love Saving Money" photo by dx.dealextreme.

Gaga for the Guppy Gala

It all started with a BuyWithMe daily save offer: 50% annual membership to the National Zoo as well as 50% off tickets to the Guppy Gala. After much deliberation (read: is it cheaper to ride the Metro to the zoo or have free parking with the membership), I decided to go ahead and purchase the membership and tickets for the family.

The Guppy Gala, which I had never heard of and did minimal research on, turned out to be WELL WORTH the $10 (discounted) tickets. Even at the full price of $20/person, it was a great deal. Each ticket includes free parking and dinner.

The gala is one of the zoo's annual fundraisers, and it's a great family event. I took my three kids and was accompanied by my neighbor and her little one. Despite the crowds, double stroller and single stroller manipulation wasn't bad, and we were able to stay together pretty well.

First off, let's talk swag. Subway provided veggie, cold cut, and turkey 6" sandwiches, Utz chips, and Coca-Cola drinks for each paid customer (though my two 2 y/o and under scored sandwiches as well). The dining area was a little field with picnic benches set up. Free tip #1: If you get there early, take one of the benches as far away from the drinks area as possible. It allows for a quick get-away and faster access to the (very clean) Port-a-Johns. As we walked through the gala, we received food of every sort: hot dogs, chicken nuggets, Minute Maid juice boxes, Honest Tea drink pouches, soft pretzels, funnel cakes, brownies, and doughnuts. The was also a HUGE Stoneyfield yogurt area that had all sorts of samples and coupons (super score!). I saw lots of people walking around with foods that we didn't see, so free tip #2 is come with an appetite and/or after a good, hard workout.

Second, let's talk activities. My kids learned a few zookeeper duties, like how to scoop poop, catch snakes, and train animals in receiving touch. They also totally dug the ginormous inflatable slides. The walking animals (Po the Kung Fu Panda, Mrs. Elephant, Mr. Wolf, and someone else that I didn't photograph so I can't remember) were a little suspect at first, but they eventually started giving them lots of love.

There was an Arcade Alley sort of space that would have been great for kids older than mine (my oldest is 4). Another play area had a bike course, climbing wall, and a couple of other really good energy burning activities that were just a little too advanced for us.

Third, let's talk shows. There were cheerleaders (but we didn't watch them because no child that young should be wearing shorts that short in public) doing their fly through the air routines and clappers tapping their hearts out. Roaming jugglers and stilt walkers fascinated my kids over and over again. My two elder kids got a kick out of the dancing animal characters, especially the tree frog. It was nice to have a break from the walking.

Finally, let's talk animals. Surprisingly, we didn't really get to see very many. My neighbor and I commented that the gala seemed like a giant advertisement (although the only items for sale were wine, beer, and ice gelati). The animals we did get to see were pretty cool. The lion cubs were out and playing a few of the lionesses. The barn was open, and the kids got to get one-on-one with a few cows, alpacas, donkeys, and goats. My little 1 y/o was terrified after the cows started lowing at her, but the older two and our friend's little one had fun. There was a zookeeper on hand to talk about the animals and another to distribute fish food for the koi. That was a huge highlight of the evening.

Overall, the Guppy Gala was a really great event. On the way out, the sponsors were giving away their wares rather liberally, and I got enough healthy snack food for preschool snack bags for the next three weeks! Free tip #3: Bring a recyclable grocery bag with you for all the goodies you score. There were some being given away this year, and we each scored one, but bring one in case there aren't any next year. Free tip #4: If you plan on staying 'til the bitter end, bring an extra of those bags to put all the extra goodies in. This way, you can have a "dry" bag for the coloring pages, pencils, crayons, posters, etc. and a "wet" bag for all the food and juices. Makes it a lot easier! I am already looking forward to next year's gala! Kudos to the National Zoo for putting on such a great event.

Pros:
-Free parking
-Close to the Metro if the thought of driving in DC stresses you out
-LOTS of free food
-TONS of activities for kids of all ages

Cons:
-Pushing tired kids uphill in a stroller
-Just a smidgen too many things to do; I felt like we had to keep go, go, going so we wouldn't miss out on anything. As it was, our kids didn't do even a fraction of the activities, yet we barely managed to cover the whole festival.
-The $20/person over 2 y/o might be a turn off for some folks. We can only hope there's another BuyWithMe (or like company) special next year! I really do think everyone got their full money's worth at the event, though.

Recommendations:
-For all ages
-If you've got small kids or kids who aren't used to walking much, then you MUST bring a stroller (or rent one).

Challenge:
Find a fabulous deal on a social coupon site and enjoy it with your family.

-Domestic Goddess out.