The Price of Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

I read this article, by Allison Linn, Life Inc. on MSNBC, today: The Price of Being a Stay-at-Home Mom. In it, Ms. Linn describes the financial differences between families with two working parents and those with only one working and one at home:

...That married couples with a working wife saw income grow by 1.12 percent per year above inflation, on average, between 1983 and 2008...families where the wife stayed home actually saw their annual incomes decrease by 0.22 percent each year on average, when including the impact of inflation.

Sure, it makes sense that people with two breadwinners make more money. Anyone who can do simple math could tell you that. But let's ask some more poignant questions:

1. The difference in annual incomes between duo-working parents and one is only 0.9%. Remember, that equals only $9 out of $1,000. What advantages are there to making 0.9% less than the "normal" American family when it comes to family-rearing?

2. What is the difference in the family debt-to-income and savings-to-income rations between the two family types?

First, the fellow stay-at-home moms who have left the work field to raise their children and tend their families are MUCH more content and fulfilled. I can say from personal experience that I certainly am as well. Being a stay-at-home mom isn't a walk in the park. It's downright hard sometimes. I hate cleaning and playing Martha Stewart. Sometimes, I'm just not creative enough for my little inquiring minds. I run out of energy and patience (usually in that order). But, at the end of the day, I know I'm doing what I've been called to do: step back away from the world for a (long) while and focus on the small unit that builds our society.

I take joy in being the first one to see my kids overcome a struggle and learn how to problem-solve. It gladdened my heart when my little girl waited patiently for a Secret Service agent to finish his impromptu talk while on the White House tour so she could tell him, "Jesus is alive. Jesus loves you. Thank you, sir." Knowing I contributed to her education and development makes me want to burst when she (and the other two) do or say things like that.

Second, most couples who have a stay-at-home parent usually do their financial homework before "taking the plunge." After factoring child care expenses into the family budget, it's usually cheaper for the family to have a parent at home. It certainly is for us. When I was working, daily child care for two kids ate up 25% of my income. I was fortunate to have a great-paying job, but there are so many people who don't. Since we knew we wanted me to stay at home after my commitment to the military was completed, we saved and practiced good, old-fashioned financial discipline so that we had paid off all our debts and had a decent savings account before I entered the stay-at-home mom ranks. Our planning and willingness to be disciplined allowed us to take the 0.22% decrease in our annual income without really missing anything we were accustomed to before, and I praise God He gave us the Bible to learn how to use our money properly.

One of my in-laws works a "basic" job and makes just above minimum wage. By the time she takes childcare out of her paycheck, she has just enough to pay for the health insurance offered by her company and have $50 left over. She works hard and spends about nine hours a day away from her kids so she can have $50 and a very basic, meager health insurance plan. It's devastating to her, but what can she do? She and her husband didn't plan before having kids, so they're stuck with the duo-working parents system.

Even people who didn't plan ahead do manage the stay-at-home stuff pretty well. Another family member had serious debts but preferred to have mom stay at home with the kids to save the family in child care costs. They did some frugal living by using coupons, shopping sales, accepting hand-me-downs, etc., and though they still have quite a lot of debt to pay off and not a whole lot in savings, they're "making it." Their debt ratio is lower now than when they were both working, and their savings ratio is higher.

I guess my point is: people who decide to have a stay-at-home parent find ways to make their finances work. There are tons of websites and blogs run by stay-at-homes to support and give tips. There are lots of Christian financial resources that help people learn how to view and use their money properly. Where there's a will, there's a way, but it's easier to get there when you have the proper tools.

Check out BeatingDebt.org for some great free/minimal cost financial resources to help you prove that the price of -0.22% annual income is well worth the loss.

-Domestic Goddess out.

"Green"liness is next to godliness?

First of all, let me give you my definition of "being green": living a healthy, sustainable lifestyle that does the least amount of damage to the planet as possible. I am by no means very good at this lifestyle! There are a lot of things I should/could do like compost, pile on more blankets instead of using space heaters, and buy everything local and fresh. However, I am a great believer in changing my lifestyle by incorporating small changes slowly enough so they become habits instead of merely phases I go through.

Thinking about it, though, I do think we (especially those who profess to be Christians) are called to be green. Again and again, I realize we are merely stewards, not owners, of everything we think is ours. To be a steward is to be a caretaker. Think of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Denethor, the dude who goes crazy in the midst of battle, and his family were charged with maintaining the kingdom of Gondor in the king's absence...even though Gondor had been without a king for hundreds of years. That's our job with Earth. Check it out: Gen 2:15 Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. (NKJV, emphasis added)

Additionally, it's just as important to take care of our bodies as it is to take care of Earth: 1 Cor 3:16-17 Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are (NKJV).

Ever heard of the old "trash in, trash out" theory? Well, that's not completely true. Sure, some of our trash ends up in the toilet, but our bodies actually absorb a lot of the junk we put into it. We very happily poison our bodies on a regular basis! What could be worse for the environment? Sick people need to use a lot of artifice to get them better. To quote my doctor friend, "Our bodies were designed to be healthy." Shoving nasty stuff (like margarine, pills, anything processed, etc.) will take its toll on us eventually.

I'm actually going through a purification (which is a combined cleanse and detoxification program) right now. It's a 21 day program in which I primarily eat vegetables and fruit. My grocery bill is much higher right now than it's been in a long very long time. However, I feel fantastic! I get fuller on much less food, have much less food angst (if you're a former/struggling fattie, you know exactly what I'm talking about), and am reveling in the tastes that are exploding from the foods I'm eating. It's great. I can only imagine what my health would be like if I continued with this. To me, it's much better to invest in my health now and enjoy the benefits instead of steadily eating myself into a person who's been fighting with sickness her entire life. Plus, it's good incentive to get rid of the old black thumb and get a garden going! :)

All in all, being green is good for everyone and everything around us. It's very fashionable right now, but more importantly, it's godly. Keeping the Earth and our bodies in good repair definitely makes "green"liness closer to godliness than cleanliness does!

-Domestic Goddess out.

Are we even meant to be rich???

This question came to me over several before-bedtime discussions my husband and I have had over the past week.

Right now, my husband and I are studying the book of Hosea. Two verses (NKJV) really jumped out at me:

Hos. 12:8
And Ephraim said, 'Surely I have become rich, I have found wealth for myself;
In all my labors they shall find in me no iniquity that is sin.'

Hos. 13:6
When they had pasture, they were filled;
They were filled and their heart was exalted;
Therefore, they forgot Me.

That made me question how much I really want to be "wealthy" when I finally "grow up"! Look at what devastating results Israel experienced when they became wealthy. Is that really what I want for me, my husband, and our kids?

In addition, my husband is reading The Gospel According to Judas, which referred to the following pair of verses (NKJV):

Lu. 6:20, 24
"Blessed are you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God...but woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation."

Again, where is the true reward in wealth? Is it something we should strive toward? So many people work so very hard to pay off their bills so they can finally save money. To what end? Most of them want to be rich when they retire.

Is that bad? I won't say. All I can say is that it seems many people meet bad endings when they do finally become rich. These verses show us just how devastating wealth can be: it blinds us to the outpouring of love and blessings God has given us that allow us to be rich. If there's something worse than knowing God and turning your back on Him, I can't think of it right now!

Again, I come to this truth "the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows" (1 Tim. 6:10).

What's my point? I urge you, strive for more than being rich! We are so much more than what we wear, drive, own, or use. Wealth, is, when the end comes, just something we leave behind. Strive to be the man or woman God calls you to be. Work diligently to fulfill His purpose for all of us: to enjoy Him in all His goodness and love for us and to go make disciples of all peoples.

If God decides we're to end up wealthy, so be it. But let it be a by-product of His grace, not the fulfillment of your life's work. Use the principles He gives us in the Bible to use the money He gives us in the wisest way possible. For financial help, check out a Bible-based assistance program like BeatingDebt.org.

-Domestic Goddess out.