To Give or Not to Give

In these tight economic times, charities from around the world are feeling the pinch of people tightening up their wallets. Charities are failing to raise enough money to accomplish all their goals. As we receive weekly letters from charities asking for more money, I have begun wondering why we support anybody at all. Does what we give do enough good to "bother" doing it? Is there truly any joy in giving? What gives (bad pun, I couldn't help it)?

First off, my husband and I are Christians, so we put a lot of stock in what the Bible says. Since God and Jesus mention giving/supporting each other pretty regularly throughout the Old and New Testaments, we feel we have a responsibility to give. Our money is not our own, but God's, and God calls us to give to Him and to give to others. So we do. At first, it wasn't cheerful giving, as called for in 2 Corinthians 9:7, but as we "got used to it", we began looking forward to other opportunities to give: to support visiting missionaries, to buy groceries to keep in the car and hand out to people begging on the street, to help fund a youth scholarship, etc. It makes us happy to be able to be a part of extending God's kingdom.

Learning to budget for giving was a little hard at first. We created a "test" budget when we went through pre-marital counseling and added tithing as a permanent portion of our budget. It was a little difficult (what isn't at the beginning of a marriage?), but after a few months, we were completely used to it. We started with the recommended church tithe of 10% but have been trying to expand our giving in the past few years. We've realized that we should give above and beyond the 10%, and we do our absolute best to exceed it. Currently, we have automatic payments set up to give to a variety of different Christian charities, and we support our church regularly. Then the fun part of giving comes in: We try to find different ways to help locally (as exemplified above). It feels so wonderful to be able to give when God opens our eyes to a need, much like in Brandon Heath's song "Give Me Your Eyes".

Brandon Heath - Give Me Your Eyes from Brandon Heath on Vimeo.

A few years ago, my husband became very strongly convicted about getting our family out of debt. He examined our finances, and within a year and a half, the only thing we owed anyone else was house payments. So now, we have some wiggle room in our budget. Every month, we do our best to be disciplined and stick to our financial plan. When the opportunity to financially help someone arises, we take it. I am firmly convinced that we would not be able to do so if we still had our former debts dictating our financial habits. It is good to be out of debt so we can give!

Give more, save more, spend less (on ourselves). This is our financial tenet. We aim to please God with it. He blesses us richly when we trust Him to provide, and He has always given us more than enough to fulfill us. God is good, and obeying Him is the best way we can show Him how much we want to return His love.

Challenge: Find new ways to give (in addition to any giving you're already doing).

-Domestic Goddess out.

Image by: Mr. Kris

College Loans: Good, Bad, or Just Plain Ugly?

I've had education on my mind for the past few weeks. We are moving very soon, and I'm torn whether I want to put my eldest in the new location's free public pre-school program or drive to my current location and keep on with our current, private pre-school. I've been reading up on local public and private schools in both locations, examining statistics and curriculum (when possible). It's dizzying.

Naturally, this all leads me down that long, dark road called College Drive. (Yes, it's obnoxious, as my kids are all under five, but hey, it's never to early to start planning, right?) Will I encourage my kids to go to college and take out tons of loans to pay for their educations? What about encouraging my kids to go to a technical school where they can learn highly valuable skills that are always in demand (e.g., mechanic of any sort, health technician of any sort, cosmetology, etc.)? Although these jobs probably won't allow my kids to become millionaires in seven years, they will all but guaranteed a job in most economies.

The New York Times just published "Burden of College Loans on Graduates Grows". This article depressed me even further regarding College Drive. The author, Tamar Lewin, tries very hard to present the good and bad side of college loans, but in the end, I only saw the ugly. Case in point: the Obamas had at least $120,000 in student loans when they got married. It took them nearly NINE years to pay off this sum, and it only happened that quickly because Mr. Obama earned quite a lot in royalties from his bestselling books. How many college graduates end up with high-paying careers like the Obamas' and then write a hugely popular book on top of that to supplement their income? Not many, folks!

Here's another jewel:

Susan Dynarski, a professor of education and public policy at the University of Michigan, said student debt could generally be seen as a sensible investment in a lifetime of higher earnings. “When you think about what’s good debt and what’s bad debt, student loans fall into the realm of good debt, like mortgages,” Professor Dynarski said. “It’s an investment that pays off over the whole life cycle.”

Really? Buying a house is a good investment? Let's talk to the average American whose house is possibly only worth 5% more than what he or she initially bought it for. Buying a house is a great idea if you are in a stable job that isn't going to move you or if you really like your area. The tax perks see to that. But as an investment, houses are just as risky as anything else. The market fluctuates, and anyone who doesn't think so should look at all the foreclosures being picked up by the Chinese. Banks are selling homes that cost the initial buyers $450,000 for "only" $200,000. Good investment? I think not! So Prof. Dynarski's comparison falls flat on its face for me, making it less likely that I encourage my kids to take out tons of debt for an education that may not pay itself off.

Besides, doesn't anyone realize that the only job market currently growing is that of service? Restaurants, stores, movie theaters, etc. continue to expand despite the recent recession. Who do you think is filling those jobs? Former executives of large companies? Nope. Recently graduated college students who want to get started on paying off their huge debts. Naturally, that isn't reflected in the statistics that say x% of college students have jobs after graduating. Nobody ever really asks what kind of jobs those are. Let's examine that whole picture carefully!

So what is my plan? Well, my husband and I have 529 accounts for each of our kids, and we contribute rather meager amounts to them monthly. Our kids will be encouraged to work in high school and to save a large percent of their income for college. They will also be encouraged to pay up front with real money up front for college classes, should they desire to pursue an academic route. My brother-in-law worked his way through 4.5 years of college with a loan of only $1,500. If he can do it, I know average Joe or Jane College Student can, too. My b-i-l had drive, passion, and a very real sense of personal responsibility that allowed him to accomplish this. God bless my mother-in-law for teaching it to both of her sons!

College isn't the end-all-be-all, folks. It's a great tool for getting ahead, but there are lots of jobs that need to be filled. As long as my kids are living honest lives, not doing anything illegal or immoral, and contributing positively to society, I am a pretty happy mama, regardless of what their chosen professions might be.

Challenge: Make a plan for your kids' college. If your kids are of age, discuss various options with them. They may come up with something even more creative! Remember the Seven P's: Proper Prior Planning Prevents P!$$ Poor Performance.

-Domestic Goddess out.

Giving it Up

The season of Lent came upon me quickly this year on Wednesday, March 9. I spent most of Mardi Gras thinking about giving stuff up: why do we do it, should I do it (I didn't grow up with this practice), and what should I do? I was gazing deeply into my fridge looking for answers and inspiration for dinner when it came to me-it was time to take the plunge and turn away from meat at least for this season. Once I came to this realization, I felt peaceful and rather excited. But how did a steak-eating Texican come to the point she was ready to give up the moo?

1. My best friend growing up is a Seventh Day Adventist. Her church believes very strongly in the biblical belief of taking care of the body through diet. Although her family didn't 100% adhere to vegetarianism, they did eat a lot more vegetables than mine did, and they were always a lot healthier than we were (minus the South Texas allergies). They did adhere completely to the diet outlined in Leviticus 11 and Deuteronomy 13.

2. I did a Standard Process purification last year during my pregnancy with Baby #3. The first ten days cut meat completely out of the diet. Since I was preggo, I was allowed to have an egg a day for the protein boost, but that was it. Although I was having withdrawals, I felt much better after the first three days and didn't really miss the massive quantities I was used to eating. I lost 10 pounds in three weeks, but Babycakes grew perfectly and is now a healthy little critter. In fact, Thing #3 is supervising as I write and motivating me by clapping and blowing kisses.

3. Alicia Silverstone's The Kind Diet detailed what Food, Inc. did, except with ink (and dead trees, but we won't go there). Although most people are very visual, I have to read things to truly believe them (I think I've been overly jaded by mainstream media, but I digress). Although Ms. Silverstone advocates veganism, I was completely turned to the idea of a veggie-centric diet. I was also turned on more than ever to the plant-your-own dinner and be a responsible Earthling ideas.

And so, here we are, nearly two weeks into Lent, and I'm quite the happy vegetarian. I don't really crave meat, but sometimes I'm tempted...like when I made the family steaks for dinner. I have a "thing" for raw meat, and it was really hard not to pop a nice, rare bite of steak into my mouth. But I didn't, and I was glad. I haven't really lost much weight (not the primary purpose of the exercise), but I certainly have maintained without much work at all (read: too cheap to spend my $3.50/gallon gas on driving 15 miles to the gym on base). I feel like my thing to give up is not truly in the spirit of Lenten deprivation because it's not been horrendously difficult (like the year I gave up ice cream). So I comfort myself with the thought that although I'm not suffering, I'm being a little more obedient to the original diet prescribed in Genesis.

I originally thought it would be really hard to convert because I got really bored with the vegetarian meals during the purification last year. Thankfully, the library came to my rescue. I'd been using the recipes in The Kind Diet, but when the book was due, I had nothing. As I was dropping the book in the return, I noticed the month's special display: cookbooks for healthy eating, with a number of vegan and vegetarian ones in the mix. Hooray! God came through for me before I even thought to ask Him for some help.

As usual, my attempts at biscuits and pizza dough have been beyond miserable, but everything else has been quite tasty. And since the recipes are all new, they're fun to make and try. Thank God for libraries, let me just say that. Baby #3 and I totally loved barley casserole and farmhouse stew. Num num num.

I don't know if vegetarianism is here to stay, but at the very least, I'll go back to only the Old Testament clean meats. And I don't want to revert to daily meat consumption. It should be more of a treat than anything else. We'll see, huh?

Challenge:
Make at least one vegetarian meal every week. When you've conquered that, go for a weekly meatless day. See how much fun you can have working new recipes into your taste buds!

-Domestic Goddess out.

DG's Got the "I Want" Blues

Ugh. I'm having one of those dreaded days. You know the type. On a normal basis, you're happy to be glad with what you have, admire what you don't, and save for what you want/think you need. On a normal basis, you look for the blessing in everything around you, drawing joy from the simplest of things, like watching your kids grow up and blossom right before your eyes.

Sadly, today (or, rather, just this afternoon) has not been one of those days. I don't know what got into my head. I think it was just me thinking about "things", but I soon found myself in a reprehensible mood and thinking about all the things I want but don't have. Even worse, I found myself grumpy about the things I want but shouldn't. Like a cleaning service. A bigger house (to be cleaned by said cleaning service). Fancy clothes and accessories. Everything organic (food, face wash, etc.). A neighborhood of other SAHMs that I can be friends with and share a cup of coffee with sans the need to plan it two weeks in advance.

Even as I found myself in the downward spiral of "Why don't I have these things? Is it really too much to ask? I don't really want to be frugal-why not just enjoy the money we have now?", I found the rational part of my brain (buried waaaaay down, struggling for air) crying out, "Excuse me, but you've GOT a lot, and you need to get over it." Thank God for reason via the Holy Spirit! Whew! Over the hour it took to get dinner on the table, I hit a valley and then started climbing back out of it.

I have food. Shelter. A/C and heating that work. Nice enough clothes that don't need to be fancy because I get spit up on about two or three times a day anyway. Machines that do a lot of hard work for me (because who really wants to hand wash dirty cloth diapers?). More importantly, I am healthy. I have a great relationship with my husband, who is a saint among men. I have funny kids who are a delightful challenge to raise. My husband has a job that allows me to stay home. And on and on and on. Yes, counting blessings is a very therapeutic exercise. Even if it takes a long while, eventually, you realize you're just being a rotten snit and get over the "I wants" and become thankful for the "I haves." I don't really need my wants at all, and that is a very thankful place to be.

Challenge: Next time you're feeling unhappy with your lot in life, take a look at what you have or what you have already accomplished, evaluate whatever you're aiming for (do you really need to get/do that?), make a plan to achieve it (if it's worth doing), and go for it!

-Domestic Goddess out.

Gleaning

There's been a move toward being frugal lately, but this article's title kind of drives me crazy. "How to get groceries for free": MSN uses it to attract attention, of course, but still. Gleaning was originally a way for the poor to have food, not for the average Joe/Jane to lower his/her grocery bill. Grrr.

On the positive note, gleaning is a great thing, and a member of our former church in Raleigh started a gleaning ministry for the community. He had a rough time starting it the first year because he was the only one who'd go pick food and haul it back to church, but he strove on and did great things. After Saturday pickup, he'd bring the stuff to church on Sunday and take donations for the food. Then, on Monday, he'd distribute to the local shelters. The donations were used for one of our church's ministries to feed needy kids in our area. The ministry is growing, and the outreaching is multiplying. That's what gleaning is all about!

So if you have time and are able, look into gleaning for your community. It's a great way to give back!

Make Love, not Debt, This Valentine's Day

Well, it's that time of year again. Valentine's Day. The time when I start to think about falling off my get healthier kick only to face massive amount of candy at every grocery store. When I'm glad I don't have a TV to remind me "Diamonds are forever" or to hawk some celebrity's new perfume to me. When I'm glad I've gotten to the chapter in Annie Leonard's Story of Stuff to dissuade me from wanting any new jewelry.

Valentine's Day is a lot like Christmas, in my opinion. The whole reason for the holiday is completely forgotten. Even if you're going the secular route for Christmas, at least you can tell the story of a man named Nicholas (now popularly known as Saint Nick) who disguised himself when he'd give poor orphans stuff they really needed to survive. How many people know who St. Valentine was or what he did to merit a holiday?

Here's my take on Valentine's-if you insist on buying something for your significant other, then please don't use debt to do it. Have the money in your bank account before you use it. I've pledged to have a Debt Free Valentine's Day. Will you do the same?

I digress. I'm really writing this because of this article and its related charts from the National Retail Federation.



The trends are pretty significant. If we can have a $20-cheaper V-Day in 2009 and 2010 with our relationships intact (based on divorce rates not fluctuating too much between the 2005-2009 period), then why can't we stay frugal?

Check out this quote:

Couples this year will spend an average of $68.98 on their significant other or spouse, up from $63.34 last year...As usual, men will spend the most on Valentine’s Day gifts. The average man plans to shell out more than twice as much ($158.71) as the average woman ($75.79).

Isn't that kind of obnoxious? Men are more or less expected to shell out more on their ladies than vice versa. What kind of equality is that? Poor dudes, especially since they don't know the ecological and inhumane horrors required for the production of the jewelry they will almost certainly feel required to purchase.

On top of that, can anyone really afford to buy such expensive gifts just six or seven weeks after one of the most expensive Christmases on record? I know we're officially out of the recession and all, but our national savings has plummeted while national use of credit is creeping upwards steadily again.

If you used credit to buy Christmas gifts, then you shouldn't consider buying a Valentine's gift. At all. Explain why you're not spending money honestly ("Honey, I want to pay this credit card bill off so we can save money later and do something really special and create a memory that will last forever" should go over pretty well). If you absolutely must give a gift, then get creative. Make something for less than $10. There are tons of frugal sites that have great ideas.

So, DG, what are you doing for Valentine's Day? I have no idea. I refuse to pay local baby-sitters the going rate of $10/hr/kid. That gets really expensive really quickly for three kids! I'll probably swap a night of baby-sitting with one of my girlfriends and celebrate a week or four late. I'd like the hubs and I to DO something together. LivingSocial has a $20 2-hr painting class deal right now. Maybe we can take advantage of that. I'll let you know whenever we get around to celebrating. At the very least, we'll share a glass of white wine and a piece of "nice" chocolate (the "fancy" flavored stuff Aldi is selling right now). Without a doubt, our Valentine's Day will be DEBT FREE.

Challenge: The whole idea of the holiday is LOVE. What does your sig o absolutely love, and how can you do something related to that inexpensively and sincerely? It's a tough one, I know, but you've got a fabulous brain. I know you'll come up with something fabulous!

-Domestic Goddess out.

Financial Lessons from Disney's "The Princess and the Frog"

There are a few things in The Princess and the Frog that get to me in a negative sense, like the voodoo and the stereotypes. But the things I really love about the movie are the financial lessons that can be easily drawn from it.

Tiana, a poor black girl with serious talent in the kitchen, lives in Jazz Age New Orleans and shares her father's dream to open a restaurant. Although Tiana's father dies before they can accomplish this goal, Tiana does everything she can to realize the dream. Her work ethic and willingness to sacrifice to accomplish her dream are commendable. She works two jobs and saves all of her tips/income so she can purchase a suitable building for her restaurant. She doesn't go out with her friends to spend money on a fleeting good time so she can save money for her restaurant. Despite being ridiculed by one of her bosses for working so hard and wanting to open her restaurant, she stays focused and keeps her eyes on the goal. Shortly before she is turned into a frog, Tiana realizes she has finally saved enough money to buy the restaurant and makes arrangements to purchase it. At the end of the movie, we see Tiana's dream realized in the form of a jazzy, fun restaurant crowded with people. Her persistence, dedication, and willingness to sacrifice allowed her to achieve her lifelong goal, and I think it is safe to assume she is fulfilled by the daily requirements to keep her business running.

On the other hand, Dr. Facilier, a voodoo practitioner, accomplishes his magic because he borrows from his "friends on the other side." He takes their power with the promise to give them more in return. In essence, he's got a black magic credit card. Unfortunately for him, he fails to pay the debt when his "friends" come calling. They drag him off to their black magic world as he screams promises to pay them off if he can just have more time.

Could the picture be any clearer? Tiana works hard and saves to accomplish her goals. Dr. Facilier borrows magical power, and when he can't repay off his substantial debt, gets dragged off to some unimaginably horrible place. Tiana gets to live happily ever after because she doesn't owe anyone anything. She is in charge of everything she uses because she paid for them in full immediately. Dr. Facilier didn't know it, but he was owned by those he borrowed from. When they came calling, his life of ease was over. His ending was scary.

Perhaps Americans should take these illustrations to heart. Have a plan, and save to accomplish your goals, like Tiana. You're much more likely to have a happy, fulfilling ending.

If you live on easy credit, beware what will come to get you when you don't repay your debt. Because despite what most Americans think, in the end, our credit card debts really are our fault. We signed the line, indicating we'd read through the terms and conditions. We didn't bargain for a lower interest rate. We indicated we understood we'd be held accountable for repayment according to the lender's terms. Therefore, we need to pay back everything we used. This is not an easy thing to do because most of us spend way more than we should.

While you're learning good lessons from The Princess and the Frog, be sure to teach them to your kids as well. The sooner kids learn fiscal responsibility, the better. Teach them to save well before they hit college and are inundated with credit card offers. Yes, there is a requirement to have parents co-sign, but we all know how easy it is to forge a parent's signature. Don't let easy credit kill your kids' financial future by the age of 22. Teach them now what credit is, how to use a debit card, and how important it is to save. America will be a lot better off because of it.

-Domestic Goddess out.