Monday, July 6, 2009

Messy, Messy Monday

Ah, the bliss of two children who nap at the same time in the afternoon. Three glorious hours to myself, which usually includes a nap, exercise, and a book. Such was this afternoon. I was tripping on endorphins when I went upstairs to fetch my children and smelled something strange. The strange smell grew as I approached my two-year-old's room. I opened the door and...there was poo everywhere. All over the bed, all over two of the walls, all over the floor, all over my child, who was trying to hide under her soiled pillow. UGH.

I hate nasty messes. They smell really bad (especially to those who have sensitive noses) and take a long, long time to clean up. Instead of beating my little girl (as instinct tried to make me do), I scooped her up gingerly and ran an unenvironmentally friendly amount of water, soap, and Clorox over her. No, not the Clorox. After she was cleaned up, she helped clean up a bit of the mess as I repeatedly explained that poo goes in the toilet, not on/in her room. She did her stint in the corner with lots of crying and calling for daddy (who was at school, mercifully for him), she sucked it up and took good care of her sister, pointing out birds (they were standing on her now-cleaned/sterilized bed and looking out the window) and trees. I certainly earned my two glasses of wine tonight!!! :)

Lessons Learned:
1. Old military uniform undershirts are wonderful rags.
2. Poo dries really hard. Use a good cleaner and scuzz brush.
3. Turn on the radio, turn on the fan, and open the window. Otherwise, you'll get high.
4. Get out of Dodge for a couple of hours to burn up energy/frustration at the park.
5. For the love of all that's clean and good for the environment, don't let your child/ren eat as many blueberries and blackberries as they want. My two kids each produced four BMs today after downing tons of farmer's market berries yesterday. After talking to my sister-in-law (and mother of four children), she informed me that was my critical error. But she did think the whole episode was hilarious. My lack of patience is legendary in my family...shall I say more?
6. A good, locally produced white wine helped it all seem funny to me too.

Incidentally, I am being converted to the locovore beliefs. I've never had better fruit and vegetables in my life. Yes, I've tried growing my own and failed every time. Instead of being a plant killer/money waster, I admit my faults and purchase from the locals who have ultra-green thumbs and organic minds. Seriously, if you have the opportunity to buy local, do it. Your waist, palate, and wallet will thank you.

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